Stuttering

         From the beginning of my life until this present day, I’ve confronted to a phenomenal issue. It is the most annoying disease that I've ever faced since I was born. It has been my greatest challenge. It blocks my way of talking and gives me trouble communicating. Sometimes I feel like my life could have been better if I was not in this situation.

 

        When I was in middle school, I was so timid, not because I wanted to be but because of the stutter. Every time I opened my mouth to express myself, the words couldn’t come out. Sometimes I got nervous and stopped talking for the rest of the day. Usually I just stayed quiet for my defense because my friends were making fun of me. Back in the day, I felt it was a huge burden in my life. I had to try over and over until the words finally decided to come out of my mouth. I used to cry because of it. Sometimes I had something important to say and I felt like the stuttering was holding me back and I became so scared to talk. I remember this day in high school, the teacher asked me to do a presentation. I stood up to start presenting what I had to do. As soon as I got up to say my first words, everybody started to make fun of me and laugh. I sometimes asked myself why God made me like this and not someone else. And then I felt apart and didn't want to participate in anything, I was only an observer.

 

       It took me until the end of my senior year to realize this is the way I am. Probably this is the way I’m going to be for the rest of my life. Then I met a professor back in my college in Haiti who gave me some tips to get over it, such as to read aloud and to be confident in myself. He told me sometimes I stutter more because of lack of confidence and the most important thing is to be patient with myself. He was really patient with me and encouraged me to go forward with my life.

 

          I’m not saying that I don’t stutter anymore but it doesn’t really matter for me anymore. I don’t let this issue dictate my life anymore. It might take time for the words to come out or to make a point but I believe in myself and am very patient. I realize that God has created me this way for a purpose and no matter what, I have to be happy for this existence he gave me. Besides this issue, he gave me so many opportunities such as intelligence, understanding and self-confidence. Since I’ve identified my problem and let it go, I’ve became a better person. I’ve   become a positive person and I realize that every day in life is a blessing from God and I have to enjoy it completely.

 

 

 

Getting to Know My Mother

A mother is the best gift that God can ever give us on Earth. Knowing that you have a mother, but not knowing her, was the worst nightmare I've ever had. I met my mother for the first time when I was 14 years old. At that time I wasn't aware that my mother was still alive because they never told me I had one. Since then I have realized that she is a beautiful, strong and smart woman who has spent her life trying to get me back.

When I first met her, I had trouble accepting her because I didn't know she existed. She reached out to me when I was in 2nd grade but I denied her because I was scared of her. She tried again when I was in high school and I began to talk to her then. I started to get to know her and I realized that the reason she left me behind was because she thought I would have a better life with my father even though she didn't want to leave me. It was a tough decision for her but she sacrificed herself for me to have a better education. Sometimes, I had to sneak around to go see her or talk to her. She used to tell me to be careful because she knew my father was strict with me and that he didn't want me to see her.

She used to send me letters trying to explain how she was happy with my father, the way they used to live their lifestyle and how they ended up in divorce. She explained to me how she tried to reach out to me when I was a baby but my father blocked her. Then, she told me how she loved me so much. I didn't believe her the first time but she showed me her love by sending me gifts - pictures of me and her when I was born. She wrote me every other day such beautiful letters that I read them over and over to enjoy my mother's writing and ideas. Since then, I keep following my heart by writing her back and getting to know her deeply.

After that, we started to see each other once in a while. I met others brothers and one sister as well. By this time, I decided to give her my love and show her my respect. No matter what happened between her and my father, it was no longer my concern. This was my time to shine and have fun with my mother. She was such an amazing lady.

Since then, our relationship has become strong. After realizing my mother was alive, God didn’t take her away from me, I became the happiest man in the world. I had to give God praise every day for that. Even though I’m away from her now, we still communicate all the time. I called her and she did the same thing as well. As her first son, it is my obligation to take care of her or support her in whichever way I can. Since I've gotten to know her, I can say my life has changed completely knowing that I have a mother that loves me deeply in her heart. Nothing can replace my mother after God. I'm looking forward to see her soon because I miss her a lot.