My First Girlfriend

            It was a Tuesday evening. I was on my way to school. While I was riding my bike, I saw this beautiful girl walking down the street going home from school. Suddenly, I felt this fire inside of me which was telling me to stop the bike in order to talk to her. I couldn't even pedal my bike well, nor could I go talk to her. All I could do that day was smile and say Hi to her even though she ignored me.

            Two weeks later, we organized a big party at my school, which was open to the public. The first person who walked in was my future and first girlfriend. That night I decided to put every piece of shyness aside to go talk to her. I did approach her gently and she finally accepted to dance with me. She was timid and well dressed and beautiful. I complimented her and finally we exchanged numbers. We had a lot of fun that night.

        I begged her for months to be with me but she wasn't into me. Months had passed and I still hadn't gotten the "Yes" that I was looking for.  Haitian women are reputed for their qualities of making Haitian men wait. I was patient because I felt pure love for this girl. Somehow, one day she called me and agreed to open and to give me her heart. It was like I felt everything around me was filled with love and happiness. I was the happiest man in the world.

         Our relationship started and continued well. We spent four years together and we were the happiest couple ever in the world. During those four years, we argued all the time but at the end of the day we made up. We had this rule that we established in our relationship which was honesty. Even though sometimes, the truth hurt so badly, we had promised each other to always tell the truth. We couldn't spend half a day without talking or texting to each other. We didn't know where this relationship was heading but we were trying so hard to love each other every day.

        This relationship allowed me to realize how precious a woman is. Since then, I treat every woman with respect. They deserve to be loved, to be cheered up and to be treated with so much appreciation and respect. Even though some of them act badly that doesn't give some people any right to lay their hands on them. This relationship had changed my view and my way of thinking about a woman. I've learned how sometimes the way you expect things to be might turn out differently, but as a man you always have to take control and to calm your woman down especially when you're wrong. Every day counts in a relationship and it was in my power to make it better every day because Love is all about giving, forgiving, trusting and sharing.

Where I Grew Up

             Haiti is the first black republic that gained its independence in 1804. I was honored to be raised where they celebrated and signed the act of independence. The city's name is Gonaives. It is a coastal town in the caribean. It is a small city with a small population compared to the capital. Everybody knows each other and the city is surrounded by mountains in order to protect it from huge natural disasters.

             I remember as a kid, my parents were really strict about my education. School was my passion. I used to be creative by inventing my own toys. With empty plastic bottles of juice, I would cut them off in a way to be the body of the car and then with the top of the bottles, they would serve as wheels. During the weekends, after I was done with my homework, I would be in the yard playing with other kids. Playing with those cars and marbles was my entertainment as a kid. Officially and traditionally, the President would come to the city the first day of the year from the capital to celebrate our Independence Day. My parents used to take me to this place called "Place d'Armes" to watch the ceremony. They used to buy me ice creams and I went running around with other kids with little flags in our hand shouting our national slogan  "L'Union Fait la Force" and singing our national Hymn.

            As a teenager, me and my friends usually wandered the street, rode bicycles and played soccer and basketball without any fear a car would hit us. I used to go to parties and come back late at night. I had this philosophy which was the balance of school and party. During the week days, I went hard on my school work and during the weekends I had to go out and get all the stress out in order to be fresh for next week. It was not a habit but I did it for fun.

        Compared to other cities mine was safe. I was not scared of anything because I knew almost everybody in the area. Even though, the city is small, we have everything we need to in order to complete our daily life such universities, supermarkets, restaurants and clubs. My city is known for its best qualities of food. We have something called "LALO". We make it with greens and meats. We eat it with white rice and we add white or brown beans on top of it. That is so delicious.

           My city used to organize carnival activities and I usually took part in them with my friends. Drinking, dancing and flirting were our only ways to express our happiness and to enjoy those festivities. I wore my masks and my best outfit to go out and have a good time. In 2004 and 2008, we had a big hurricane  that completely destroyed our city. This disaster cost many people their lives; so many people drowned and so many families lost their relatives. That decreased the beauty of our city. Afterward, we started to do our best to keep our heads up until then. My city is still attractive in its own style with beautiful people living in it and I love it that way.

Stuttering

         From the beginning of my life until this present day, I’ve confronted to a phenomenal issue. It is the most annoying disease that I've ever faced since I was born. It has been my greatest challenge. It blocks my way of talking and gives me trouble communicating. Sometimes I feel like my life could have been better if I was not in this situation.

 

        When I was in middle school, I was so timid, not because I wanted to be but because of the stutter. Every time I opened my mouth to express myself, the words couldn’t come out. Sometimes I got nervous and stopped talking for the rest of the day. Usually I just stayed quiet for my defense because my friends were making fun of me. Back in the day, I felt it was a huge burden in my life. I had to try over and over until the words finally decided to come out of my mouth. I used to cry because of it. Sometimes I had something important to say and I felt like the stuttering was holding me back and I became so scared to talk. I remember this day in high school, the teacher asked me to do a presentation. I stood up to start presenting what I had to do. As soon as I got up to say my first words, everybody started to make fun of me and laugh. I sometimes asked myself why God made me like this and not someone else. And then I felt apart and didn't want to participate in anything, I was only an observer.

 

       It took me until the end of my senior year to realize this is the way I am. Probably this is the way I’m going to be for the rest of my life. Then I met a professor back in my college in Haiti who gave me some tips to get over it, such as to read aloud and to be confident in myself. He told me sometimes I stutter more because of lack of confidence and the most important thing is to be patient with myself. He was really patient with me and encouraged me to go forward with my life.

 

          I’m not saying that I don’t stutter anymore but it doesn’t really matter for me anymore. I don’t let this issue dictate my life anymore. It might take time for the words to come out or to make a point but I believe in myself and am very patient. I realize that God has created me this way for a purpose and no matter what, I have to be happy for this existence he gave me. Besides this issue, he gave me so many opportunities such as intelligence, understanding and self-confidence. Since I’ve identified my problem and let it go, I’ve became a better person. I’ve   become a positive person and I realize that every day in life is a blessing from God and I have to enjoy it completely.

 

 

 

Getting to Know My Mother

A mother is the best gift that God can ever give us on Earth. Knowing that you have a mother, but not knowing her, was the worst nightmare I've ever had. I met my mother for the first time when I was 14 years old. At that time I wasn't aware that my mother was still alive because they never told me I had one. Since then I have realized that she is a beautiful, strong and smart woman who has spent her life trying to get me back.

When I first met her, I had trouble accepting her because I didn't know she existed. She reached out to me when I was in 2nd grade but I denied her because I was scared of her. She tried again when I was in high school and I began to talk to her then. I started to get to know her and I realized that the reason she left me behind was because she thought I would have a better life with my father even though she didn't want to leave me. It was a tough decision for her but she sacrificed herself for me to have a better education. Sometimes, I had to sneak around to go see her or talk to her. She used to tell me to be careful because she knew my father was strict with me and that he didn't want me to see her.

She used to send me letters trying to explain how she was happy with my father, the way they used to live their lifestyle and how they ended up in divorce. She explained to me how she tried to reach out to me when I was a baby but my father blocked her. Then, she told me how she loved me so much. I didn't believe her the first time but she showed me her love by sending me gifts - pictures of me and her when I was born. She wrote me every other day such beautiful letters that I read them over and over to enjoy my mother's writing and ideas. Since then, I keep following my heart by writing her back and getting to know her deeply.

After that, we started to see each other once in a while. I met others brothers and one sister as well. By this time, I decided to give her my love and show her my respect. No matter what happened between her and my father, it was no longer my concern. This was my time to shine and have fun with my mother. She was such an amazing lady.

Since then, our relationship has become strong. After realizing my mother was alive, God didn’t take her away from me, I became the happiest man in the world. I had to give God praise every day for that. Even though I’m away from her now, we still communicate all the time. I called her and she did the same thing as well. As her first son, it is my obligation to take care of her or support her in whichever way I can. Since I've gotten to know her, I can say my life has changed completely knowing that I have a mother that loves me deeply in her heart. Nothing can replace my mother after God. I'm looking forward to see her soon because I miss her a lot.

Coming to America

       

     Coming to America
       
       Moving to the USA was really hard for me. I knew that everything was going to change. I was 22 years old and I was about to finish college when my parents told me I was moving to the United States. I was confused and sad seeing that I was going to leave everything behind like school, friends and the most important thing - my country Haiti.
      The day I was leaving Haiti was the saddest moment in my life. Knowing that more opportunities were waiting for me had put a smile on my face. I was leaving my life behind and I knew that was a tough decision. I was a college student studying Business Administration. I was in my 3rd year of my college education going to my 4th year. They gave me the news that I was coming to the USA the week that I was doing my final exams. I couldn't believe it until they showed me the doctor's appointment paper. The funniest part was that I kept studying for my exams because I was focusing on my career at that time. I didn't want to leave until they showed me the plane tickets. One can only imagine the pain that I  felt through my heart to see all those years of studying and hard-work gone. It was as if my body was leaving but my heart and my soul were left behind.
      The worst moment was when I finally arrived here and I found myself sitting inside of the house with nobody around to talk to. At that moment grief, sadness and loneliness hit me all at once and I started to cry. I spent most of the days sleeping, eating and watching TV. I had to wait until my family came back from work to talk in the house with someone. Sometimes I felt like I wanted to go back to my country and never come back. All of sudden all those memories from Haiti came into my mind and started to make me go crazy. My father always reassured me by saying everybody was going through the same process. I had to be patient and stop hurting myself with those negative thoughts. He always said:" Everything will be fine when you find a job and go to school". He was right about that.
     It was really scary for me during this whole time of transition. I dropped everything to make this big step in my life. I knew that I gave my country 22 years and I knew at the same time that I had to move on to build a new life. It was not easy at the beginning but I asked God for the strength to keep fighting for my future and to adapt myself to this new environment. My faith kept me motivated for what I really wanted to be. I had patience that one day all will be good -  and here I am, already feeling at home.